Confidence is the foundation of happiness

Children copy everything

Our children believe everything we tell them. Kids believe us when we tell them that they are good or bad, too fat or too thin, if they can and cannot do something. Even if we don’t tell them anything, they believe our gestures and our behaviours towards them to be true.

Confident people are not arrogant

We often relate confidence to arrogance or cockiness. True confidence is not arrogant or cocky. Self assured people enjoy being in their own skin and know their strengths and their weaknesses, believe in themselves and share their talents with others.

Confident people step back from their ego and admit when they are in the wrong. They even apologise for their wrongdoings and learn from them.

Why we lack confidence

So if confidence is so important to all of us, why is it that most of us do not have it? Because we are conditioned to compare ourselves to others from a very young age.

Children depend on their parents for survival. Our parents feed us, keep us warm and teach us how to survive in this world. We don’t argue with our parents. They are our teachers and our role models. As children we don’t question our parent’s attitudes and behaviours.

As we get older we are moulded into people that fit into  society, into somebody our parents feel comfortable with who have also been moulded by their parents. School  has a structure that fits all. There is no room for individuality. As soon as we step out of this structure, we are carved back into the perfect sculpture that is placed in the corner to be admired.

By the time we are 25 years old we fit in with everything that is expected from us.  But there is one problem. Our beautiful statue has been chipped over the years with limiting beliefs and with painful experiences until it collapses and lies there in pieces to be rebuilt. rebuild.

Everyone is a success

There are only very few people that did not learn to walk or talk. If we as adults would have to learn those skills now, we would find it almost impossible, because our mind has been conditioned that things become more difficult as we grow older.

Children don’t have that problem. They keep trying until they achieve. They do not have the little monkey constantly telling them that they cannot do things. Only later in life they have been taught that they can fail and that failure is a bad thing.

No wonder that when we grow older many of us lack confidence. Each negative comment, each failure saps us of our well being. With the lack of confidence sometimes anxiety and depression follow. It happens very slowly without us realising … and then we have to pick up the pieces.